[Today’s run: nothing yet]
I think my biggest fault is projecting unreasonable expectations on those around me, particularly my children.
I have two good children. They both have different personalities and gifts. One thing I particularly appreciate about them is that they are able to get along with each other. They had a bit of difficulty in that area growing up, but nothing I thought was out of control. And as they have gotten older and more independent it seems like they are able to connect well. I like that.
Both of them are intelligent people. They both graduated from high school early and went on to college. Success in college has been mixed, but some of that I chalk up to impatience and a low tolerance for B.S. (some of the same stuff that moved them out of high school early).
I love them and I want to see them be successful in life. My advice has not always been the best, and they have each had some unique challenges to overcome.
I consider both of my parents to be exceptional people. Frankly, I think my children are exceptional people too and I would like to see them find a passionate calling and really go into overdrive. But that’s not what has happened to me, and I shouldn’t be hypocritical about it. When I stop and think about it, the exceptional nature of my parents is expressed in their consistency and faithfulness not in some kind of burst of overachievement.
So you can see, I do tend to project unreasonable expectations! On the other hand, it doesn’t make sense for every generation to aspire only to the achievements of their parents and grandparents. That would result in a slow multi-generational decline: not so good.
And the proverbial elephant in the room is the nature of success. My understanding of a successful life may or may not be right; I suspect it is faulty in various ways. Over the years I have scaled back some of my aspirations to where I’d mostly like, when folks remember me at all, to not be remembered as a pompous jerk. I’m sure I have those days (and maybe this is one of them, it’s hard to tell from up close), but maybe they will be less memorable then the others.
The Westminster Shorter Catechism says man’s duty and purpose is to “glorify God and enjoy Him forever”. I’m not sure if I’m getting much traction by that measure. I’m thankful it doesn’t say, “be the best employee” or “be the best husband” or whatever. Not even “have the best kids”, as good as mine are. Anything that is up to me to accomplish already has the odor of procrastination and defeat.
So I am thankful for an extreme portion of God’s grace that has been shown to me. My needs are provided and I have some really fine people that seem to enjoy being with me on the occasions that we are together. That’s really nice.