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other thoughts

A friend in distress

[Today’s run: 8 miles]

I have a friend on the internet.  I’ve actually met him in person once, spent half a day doing rock climbing at a place I’ve not been back to since.

He’s a talented guy, a driven person.  I’d say he is upper middle class, both his wife and he have good paying jobs and are able to go on nice vacations, buy the things they want, etc.  They earn it.

I met him on a mailing list about running.  He is a much better runner than I am, works harder at it too.

He plays musical instruments.  In the time I have known him he has done sky diving, scuba diving, skiing ( a big one), golf, running, weight lifting, motorcycle riding, rock climbing, sailing.  At all of these things he is better than average but not as good as he would like to be.  He finds it frustrating that he is not “good” at anything.

He’s in a transition now, sold their big house (sold in a matter of days whereas not too long ago they were completely under water), selling their vacation homes  (2), has a new job in a different city.  And he is currently on vacation pre-job-start, at a resort in a foreign country.

He has a faithful wife, good kids, grown with families of their own, lots of friends all over the country. Generally solid good health.

And he’s all stressed out.

I’m not sure what to do for him, if anything.  I’d like to give him a swift kick, sometimes, not being a very empathetic person.  But I’m sure his distress is real.

I’m thinking, “Ok, be stressed.  But don’t go do something stupid with it.”  I don’t think he will.

He has had to overcome a fair amount of adversity in his life, so he has climbed bigger hills in the past, and knows he can do it.

It is very tempting to go over to envy-mode about all of his possessions.  That’s to be avoided.  Somehow, reminding someone that normal less blessed people don’t have to sell both of their ski condos  because they don’t have ski condos, doesn’t seem like the best comfort.

I guess I’m stuck.  I hope he works it out.  I think it will be a matter of time for things to settle down.  I suspect the “real” problem is just being tossed in life’s surf for a bit*.  When he comes to earth I think it will all be OK.

 

* “We have been like bathers who want to keep their feet – or one foot – or one toe – on the bottom, when to lose that foothold would be to surrender themselves to a glorious tumble in the surf.  ”

C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves