I’ve only been running 3.5 years but in those 3.5 years, I’ve picked up on a few rules and pointers of running.

Probably the #1 rule of running is:  Poop before you run.

Seriously!

There’s something about running down the road that jiggles up your innards and what you thought was securely in place decides to make an immediate exit.

This can prove to be embarrassing.

Poop before you run.

There are a few tricks to help you do this.  The most effective way to move things along is to have a cup of coffee.  I don’t know why this works but it does!  The trick is in the timing, though.  You really don’t want to gulp down that cup of joe and then head immediately outdoors.  That could prove disastrous.  No~you want to give plenty of time after drinking your coffee to give it a chance to “Work its magic.”  9 times out of 10, you will feel a bit more confident when you head out the house to run.

Then there’s me.  Sometimes it doesn’t matter what I do, nothing is going to move.  The day’s a wasting and I’ve got a list of things to get done…got to get that run done.

Then you are playing a game of Russian Roulette.

Rule #2:  Always carry tissues.

You just never know when you will have to find a convenient tree or bush.  It’s best to be prepared!  What happens if you don’t have any tissues?  That brings us to Rule #3.

Rule #3:  Never~Ever touch a lone sock or glove.  EVER!

If you do not have any tissues, you will be forced sacrifice an item of clothing.  If it is cold out, it usually ends up being a glove.  If the weather is warm, you obviously do not have gloves so you must sacrifice a sock.

NEVER, touch a lone sock or glove….ever!!!

Let’s review the three primary rules of running:

Rule 1:  Poop before you run

Rule 2:  Carry tissues

Rule 3:  Never touch a lone sock or glove

Why am reviewing these rules?  Well….

Paxton and I have been going on evening walks on a regular basis.  Every evening we have a tug of war at the same place.  There is this LONE GLOVE on our road.  Paxton thinks this glove smells GREAT and he wants to bring it home with him.

What was Rule #3?  Never touch a lone sock or glove.

When Paxton tells me he wants this glove, every alarm in my body goes off and I’m am in full retreat!  “No, Paxton!  Leave that glove alone!  Nasty!”

So far, the glove remains where it has been for a very. long. time.  I don’t have any intentions of moving it, either.  We’ll just have to wait and see how long it takes to succumb to the elements, I guess.