I know so many of you have questions regarding Paxton.  Saying goodbye this morning was one of the most heart wrenching things I’ve done in a long, long time.

April 8, 2010,  five week old Paxton came to live at our house.  His mama had given birth to 8 or 9 puppies.  I think they were up to their ears in puppies and were letting them go a little young.

I remember sitting on the ground to meet the puppies and Paxton walked up to me, parked himself in my lap and said, “You’re my person.”  He was right!  He came home with us that very day.

He was so teeny tiny!

He sure didn’t stay tiny for long!  HA!!!  That dog grew and grew and grew. I wasn’t surprised.  Both of his parents were at the home where we got him and they were both tall dogs.

Now, I like a big dog.  Actually, my personal preference is for a large dog.  I guess I figure people aren’t going to mess with me if they see a hefty pooch at the door?  It works!

The FedEx guy used to be terrified of Paxton….that is until one day the FedEx guy saw me trying to sweep the kitchen floor.  Paxton had decided that the broom must die and he was busy “killing” the broom while I was trying to sweep.  I looked up to see him laughing himself silly at my front door.  After that, he wasn’t afraid of Paxton anymore and they became good friends.

He loved the cows and would BEG to go visit the cows!

Last night was his last visit to the cows.  More on that later.

He hated storms!!!

He loved Charles the Kitten!

He LOVED Pink Puppy!!!

He got pink puppy back in the days when he was still destroying any toy he got.  Something about pink puppy….that was something special. He treasured pink puppy and barely destroyed if after close to 5 years.  That was one well loved toy.

He loved that silly traffic cone!  He especially loved it when it had Peanut Butter inside.

He was the side plank champ!  Nobody could rock a side plank like Paxton!!!

He liked to help MFH (My Favorite Husband) with his planks and then walk away when it was my turn.  Goofy puppy!!!

He loved going for walks with Kali and Castro.

He and Castro were BFF.  Seriously, BFF!!!

They were our nosy Neighborhood Watch Committee!  Not a thing got past those two.

Most of all, Paxton loved his Nutty Bars and neckties!  He’d get soooo bent out of shape if you took of his necktie.  He’d throw a major fit sometimes!!! He thought he looked spiffy….and of course, he did!

Don’t forget the Nutty Bars!!!

So, what happened to my pampered, necktie wearing pudgy pooch?

Cancer.

We noticed in November a few bumps on his legs.  They were marble sized to start off but quickly grew to be pretty good sized bumps!

At the time, Kali was super sick and we were dealing with her and finally had to put her down.  After Kali, we were able to turn our attention to Paxton’s bumps.  It’d only been about 2 weeks after noticing them so we figured they were cysts or something.

We had biopsies done 3 weeks ago, I think it was.  In the time between our initial vet appointment and the surgery, he had developed about a dozen more bumps.  Seeing at how many more there were and how fast they were growing, we were not surprised when the vet called and said they were malignant.

The vet said that it was aggressive and pretty much pointless to try to do any kind of treatment.  We agreed to keep an eye on him and when the time came, we’d say our goodbyes.  The vet gave us an estimated time of three months.

I was confident Paxton would be able to celebrate his 8th birthday on March 4.

The bumps kept growing fast and furiously.  We had to keep the cone of shame on Paxton because he was worrying the surgery sight and ripping out stitches.

To be honest, his major complaint with the cone of shame was he couldn’t wear a necktie!  Vain puppy!!!

Two days ago, I noticed Castro starting to distance himself from Paxton.  That was very unusual.  Those two are tighter than all get out.  I was concerned.  Looking back on it now, Castro knew the end was near. That poor kitty!!!  First his mama, Kali, and now Paxton~within 5 weeks of each other!  *He’s a very sad kitty at the moment*

Yesterday, Paxton was sitting in the driveway looking down the road towards the cows.  He gave me this pleading look that said, “Please!?!  Please can we go visit the cows?”

How could I say “No?”   *I want you to notice the large bump on the back of Paxton’s right front leg, the leg without the bandage on it.  We’ll come back to that shortly.

We walked slowly down to the cows.  His head was bobbing in pain but he was over the moon excited to visit those cows!!!

As we walked back to the house, he really struggled. It’s only a tenth of a mile from our house to the field but he was in a lot of pain.  We’d stop. I’d love on him, let him rest until finally we made it back to the house.

He didn’t drink anything…which was odd.  I offered him some of MFH’s fancy ice cream.  He turned it down.  VERY odd!

We had an early bedtime.

At 11:30 last night I woke up and looked at Paxton’s water dish.  I had filled it up around noon yesterday.  He hadn’t drank anything.  I couldn’t remember him eating anything after breakfast, either! He was shutting down.  That’s when I realized we would be making our last trip to the vet this morning.

I laid in bed and cried until 3:00am.

Paxton heard me crying and came to the bed and tried to comfort me.  He was giving me puppy kisses and everything.  He knew I was sad and wanted to make it better.  Darn that dog for being so awesome!!!

I finally fell asleep for about 2 hours when his heavy panting woke me up.

I rushed into the living room to discover he had gotten the cone of shame off and had tried to chew that tumor out of his leg~the bump I had asked you to notice in the last pic?

I felt terrible!!!  I shouldn’t have fallen asleep!!!  I should have been there so that wouldn’t have happened!!!

My poor pudgy pooch!!!

OMG!!!

MFH found out there would be somebody at the vet’s office at 6:30am so Paxton and I got in the car~his last trip going bye-bye and drove over to the vet’s office.  We got there about ten minutes until 7:00.

The people were there but not the vet.  We had to wait until 8:00.

Paxton and I sat in the backseat of the car.  He was laying across my lap with pink puppy.  I loved him as much as absolutely possible during that last hour of his life.

The vet arrived.  We went in.

Paxton knew why we were there.  He was good with it.  He was ready.  He was content.

See, last night, after the cows, it was like he had checked the last item off his puppy bucketlist.  He was ready to go.

Together my pudgy pooch and I walked into the back room.  He laid down on the floor like a good boy.  He let the vet inject the medication, gave a little puppy sigh and was gone.

I’ve had LOTS of dogs in my life and have had to say goodbye more times that I have liked but this dog….he was special.

RIP my necktie wearing puppy!!!  I know you and Kali are kicking up in kitty and puppy heaven.  I’m so glad you’re not in pain anymore and I’m so very, very sorry I wasn’t awake to stop you from trying to remove your tumor this morning.  Please forgive me!!!  The vet promised to cremate you with pink puppy so you’ll have company on the other side. You’ll always hold the most special puppy place in my heart!

You and Kali keep each other company!!!