I’m So Embarrassed

A few days ago a person on a FB running page asked this question:

I had to think!  I mean, so many things have happened to me while running that it was hard to immediately put my finger on the one most embarrassing thing!

This person asked the question a few days back and it wasn’t until today that I was finally able to remember the most embarrassing thing and I figured I’d share it with y’all because what runner doesn’t love a good poop story?

Y’all know my running began when MFH (My Favorite Husband) and I were new-ish to Mississippi.  I started C25K with him running every step with me.  I swear that was the sweetest thing ever!!!  He’d been running almost the entire (now 36 years) we’d been married and slowing down to practically a crawl for me was huge!

After running and training together through my first marathon, he felt comfortable with me running solo.  Ever since 2013, I’ve been a solo runner…except for our Saturday morning #DateRuns.  Those runs are the highlight of my week!

Soon after beginning my solo running, I discovered I had unexpected cheerleaders!  The trash collectors were cheering.  They’d drive by every Wednesday at early o’clock.  The guys on the back of the truck would wave and WooHoo.  They even introduced themselves to me if we bumped into each other while out shopping!  Funny how we all look different in IRL (In Real Life) clothes!!!

My other cheerleaders were the County Road Crew guys.  Those guys were awesome!  They pretty much knew my routes from seeing me running all the time.  If they noticed me out on a less than usual road, they knew I was on a long run and would drive by a few time to check on me, seeing if I needed water or anything.  Great guys!!!  MFH and I both knew them and were comfortable with them watching out for me.

Which brings me to the most embarrassing thing that happened to me while running:

Over the years, I developed a little bathroom problem.  It finally got so bad that I had a pretty substantial surgery last September to correct the problem.  Leading up to the surgery, I dealt with the problem in different ways.

The obvious answer was Immodium.  Great stuff until your little medical difficulty gets way past what Immodium can do.

Immodium is great stuff!  I was sad when it quit working for me.

The next obvious thing was to utilize the trees/bushed along my little country roads.  Living out in the country of Mississippi, there usually wasn’t a soul around.  This was a wonderful thing!  Trees and bushes were everywhere!  You’d check real quick for poison ivy and the occasional slithery running buddy, do your business and move on.

There was a learning curve to this.  A few places long these roads had treated the area with Monsanto.  #ProTip:  Monsanto treated ANYTHING is not friendly to the rumpatootis.  Leaves found along the way were out of the question for a quick clean up.

Now I know many runners have resorted to socks for when Mother Nature makes an unexpected call.  Sorry, y’all.  I’m fussy about my socks and am unwilling to sacrifice a sock during a run.  I spend an obscene amount of money on my socks so, nope.  Not happening!

The next best thing and an inexpensive alternative are those cheap gloves that Walmart sells!  They’re usually in the children’s section and are amazing!  I love them in the winter as gloves and don’t cry if/when I have to leave one hidden in the undergrowth during a run.

Bear in mind, I only wear the #PINK gloves so if you’re ever in my old neck of the woods in Mississippi and discover a pink glove?  Just keep moving.  You don’t want it.

Oh my goodness!  I started chasing rabbits, didn’t it?

Back to being embarrassed:

So, it was wintertime in Mississippi and there wasn’t much in the way of leaves in the trees/bushes to offer “privacy.”

I was “committed” behind a bush when I heard the familiar rumble of a county road crew truck bumping down the road.

Pretty soon they were driving right by me.

I wanted to D. I. E. on the spot!!!

Bless them.  They didn’t act like anything was out of the ordinary.  They just tooted their horn like they always did and kept on driving.

I was mortified!!!

When I got home from my run, MFH asked how it went and I told him what had happened.  He said they probably hadn’t even noticed.  I decided to believe him and kinda(?) forgot about it?

The next time I ran that route, this is what I saw:

Yes, they had noticed.

They were still looking out for me.

Bless them, they always kept the paper full and everything!

I utilized that beautiful porta potty many, many times and secretly thanked them over and over for their thoughtfulness. I also saved a ton of money on those gloves at Walmart!




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