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other thoughts

Getting softer in my old age

[Today’s run:   nothing yet]

I get emotional about stuff.  My eyes tear up and I have a hard time focusing on the tasks at hand.  It doesn’t happen very often, maybe once every few months or a bit more.

This is not for no reason.  Usually it is something I have seen or heard or read; and I may not even be that emotionally attached to what I’m seeing, hearing or reading.  It’s like it pushes a button, maybe a button that I don’t even know that I had.

I remember reading to the kids the book, The Velveteen Rabbit.  I can’t read that book out loud.  In fact, I can’t even think about reading that book out loud.  I think about the ending and not being able to read it and I could just sit here and cry.  It is really not that interesting of a book to be honest.  But there is something there that turns on the faucet for me.

I remember a radio program I heard one time.  I remember being in my little Honda Civic, driving up the Big Thompson Canyon after work one day.  I was just coming in to the little town of Drake, Colorado when this story came on.  It was interesting.  The general gist of the story was about someone having a recording of a long lost relative but it was in a strange recorded media that most people cannot play.  So they talked about how this expert guy finds ways to play this type of thing.  And at the end they play the recording. I just about had to stop the car.  Right now, remembering it I have to stop and wipe my eyes.

Sometimes hearing the national anthem or an old hymn will do it.  Generally it will be a sound, sometimes a picture but usually a sound.  I think there might be a movie or two, but more likely a book.

I don’t feel bad or even particularly sad for that matter.  It’s a little embarrassing, otherwise I’m not uncomfortable.

I guess if you see me crying my eyes out you can relax.

[Looking at the two examples above, both are about something that is lost and then comes back.  Maybe there’s something to that.]