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Sniper school

[Yesterdays Run: 12.4 with Boardtown club]
[Today’s Run: ??]

May I speak to Marine Master Sargent [young nephew]?

Marine Master Sargent , this is the President of the United States. It has come to our attention that you want to attend Marine Sharpshooter Sniper School in Quantico, Virginia and, like all red-blooded Americans, assist your country in the war on terror.

Master Sargent [young nephew], using our latest infrared geostationary satellite we were able to pinpoint your location recently in the bathroom at the home of your Aunt and Uncle near Columbus, Mississippi. Son, I have to tell you that your performance in the Wee-wee department has got to improve if you expect to make it as a Marine Sniper. You didn’t hit the target. You missed by a mile. Your bombing runs were ok but the sniper stuff has got to be improved.

So I’m ordering you to immediately start remedial sniper training. Every time you wee-wee I want those precious bodily fluids to be right on target.

Number One – be alert!
Number Two – acquire the target in your visual field
Number Three – get a grip on your equipment
Number Four – concentrate on the target.

Marine Master Sargent [young nephew], Remember!
We need Marine Snipers who can hit the target when their country calls for it.

You have your orders!

One reply on “Sniper school”

Called nephew and read it to him over the phone in my best drill sargent voice. I don’t think he recognized me. Printed out on “White House” stationary, pasted in a signature of B.O. and mailed today.

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