Sniper school

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Posted by w0ep on March 13, 2011 at 2:42 pm

[Yesterdays Run: 12.4 with Boardtown club]
[Today’s Run: ??]

May I speak to Marine Master Sargent [young nephew]?

Marine Master Sargent , this is the President of the United States. It has come to our attention that you want to attend Marine Sharpshooter Sniper School in Quantico, Virginia and, like all red-blooded Americans, assist your country in the war on terror.

Master Sargent [young nephew], using our latest infrared geostationary satellite we were able to pinpoint your location recently in the bathroom at the home of your Aunt and Uncle near Columbus, Mississippi. Son, I have to tell you that your performance in the Wee-wee department has got to improve if you expect to make it as a Marine Sniper. You didn’t hit the target. You missed by a mile. Your bombing runs were ok but the sniper stuff has got to be improved.

So I’m ordering you to immediately start remedial sniper training. Every time you wee-wee I want those precious bodily fluids to be right on target.

Number One – be alert!
Number Two – acquire the target in your visual field
Number Three – get a grip on your equipment
Number Four – concentrate on the target.

Marine Master Sargent [young nephew], Remember!
We need Marine Snipers who can hit the target when their country calls for it.

You have your orders!

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  • On March 14, 2011 at 7:54 pm w0ep said

    Called nephew and read it to him over the phone in my best drill sargent voice. I don’t think he recognized me. Printed out on “White House” stationary, pasted in a signature of B.O. and mailed today.

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