{"id":3083,"date":"2015-04-22T19:38:11","date_gmt":"2015-04-23T00:38:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/w0ep.us\/TM\/?p=3083"},"modified":"2015-04-22T19:38:11","modified_gmt":"2015-04-23T00:38:11","slug":"dont-touch-that-glovesock","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/w0ep.us\/TM\/?p=3083","title":{"rendered":"Don’t Touch That Glove\/Sock!!!"},"content":{"rendered":"

I’ve only been running 3.5 years but in those 3.5 years, I’ve picked up on a few rules and pointers of running.<\/p>\n

Probably the #1 rule of running is: \u00a0Poop before you run.<\/p>\n

Seriously!<\/p>\n

There’s something about running down the road that jiggles up your innards and what you thought was securely in place decides to make an immediate exit.<\/p>\n

This can prove to be embarrassing.<\/p>\n

Poop before you run.<\/p>\n

There are a few tricks to help you do this. \u00a0The most effective way to move things along is to have a cup of coffee. \u00a0I don’t know why this works but it does! \u00a0The trick is in the timing, though. \u00a0You really don’t want to gulp down that cup of joe and then head immediately outdoors. \u00a0That could prove disastrous. \u00a0No~you want to give plenty of time after drinking your coffee to give it a chance to “Work its magic.” \u00a09 times out of 10, you will feel a bit more confident when you head out the house to run.<\/p>\n

Then there’s me. \u00a0Sometimes it doesn’t matter what I do, nothing is going to move. \u00a0The day’s a wasting and I’ve got a list of things to get done…got to get that run done.<\/p>\n

Then you are playing a game of Russian Roulette.<\/p>\n

Rule #2: \u00a0Always carry tissues.<\/p>\n

You just never know when you will have to find a convenient tree or bush. \u00a0It’s best to be prepared! \u00a0What happens if you don’t have any tissues? \u00a0That brings us to Rule #3.<\/p>\n

Rule #3: \u00a0Never~Ever touch a lone sock or glove. \u00a0EVER!<\/p>\n

If you do not have any tissues, you will be forced sacrifice an item of clothing. \u00a0If it is cold out, it usually ends up being a glove. \u00a0If the weather is warm, you obviously do not have gloves so you must sacrifice a sock.<\/p>\n

NEVER, touch a lone sock or glove….ever!!!<\/p>\n

Let’s review the three primary rules of running:<\/p>\n

Rule 1: \u00a0Poop before you run<\/p>\n

Rule 2: \u00a0Carry tissues<\/p>\n

Rule 3: \u00a0Never touch a lone sock or glove<\/p>\n

Why am reviewing these rules? \u00a0Well….<\/p>\n

Paxton and I have been going on evening walks on a regular basis. \u00a0Every evening we have a tug of war at the same place. \u00a0There is this LONE GLOVE on our road. \u00a0Paxton thinks this glove smells GREAT and he wants to bring it home with him.<\/p>\n

What was Rule #3? \u00a0Never touch a lone sock or glove.<\/p>\n

When Paxton tells me he wants this glove, every alarm in my body goes off and I’m am in full retreat! \u00a0“No, Paxton! \u00a0Leave that glove alone! \u00a0Nasty!”<\/p>\n

So far, the glove remains where it has been for a very. long. time. \u00a0I don’t have any intentions of moving it, either. \u00a0We’ll just have to wait and see how long it takes to succumb to the elements, I guess.<\/p>\n

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I’ve only been running 3.5 years but in those 3.5 years, I’ve picked up on a few rules and pointers of running. Probably the #1 rule of running is: \u00a0Poop before you run. Seriously! There’s something about running down the road that jiggles up your innards and what you thought was securely in place decides […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[6,8,5,3],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/w0ep.us\/TM\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3083"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/w0ep.us\/TM\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/w0ep.us\/TM\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/w0ep.us\/TM\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/w0ep.us\/TM\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3083"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/w0ep.us\/TM\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3083\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3085,"href":"http:\/\/w0ep.us\/TM\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3083\/revisions\/3085"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/w0ep.us\/TM\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3083"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/w0ep.us\/TM\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3083"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/w0ep.us\/TM\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3083"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}